| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2008|05:00 pm] |
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So I really wasn't going to write in this, but then my mom and uncle and I had a conversation about these journals. I had been telling Patrick how I saw that Shannah had one and she is such a good little writer and really expresses her thoughts well. I told them how I had a journal for a long time and there's probably about a good 300 or more entries if you combine this one with my old one. I never really wrote anything deep. Just thoughts about my day and basically a retelling of it. Pretty boring. My mom tried to say that people are not themselves, that they are just writing what people want to hear or in a way that they think will be entertaining to others... not really opening up like they would if it were a personal private journal. We both argued with her saying that it is possible to be completely open and honest in these. She said you can't because that would be opening yourself up to random strangers or close friends and people just don't do that. She said people's journals entries (online and open for people to read anyway) are not really a reflection of them. I was saying how mine definitely are, but then I think I realized what she meant when I began reading back on all my old ones. Yeah they are me and my words and about my day... but they aren't anything I wouldn't feel comfortable having a stranger read. So to really make these personal and put yourself out there you are supposed to be open and honest and give an inside look into yourself. Which... going back to what she was arguing, is just simply not what people do. If I were to really put myself out there and say how I really feel... I would probably either not post it for all to see, or end up backspacing over my raw feelings and retyping out a sugar coated version of how I really feel as to not offend friends or even complete strangers. What a shame. Maybe the famous bloggers out there really are open and honest and that's what causes so much controversy? I don't really feel I have a lot to say half the time, so maybe one day I can be that person that can put out there all my raw emotions and thoughts. Right now it's just boring shallow stuff like how my day was. |
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| Almost Thanksgiving! |
[Nov. 27th, 2008|12:56 am] |
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I just hung a bunch of things to get them out of the way, but I still have a lot to do. It's 1am and I have work tomorrow (yes on Thanksgiving) but it should be kind of fun. I get to work with Daniel the entire time and we are all splitting the tips that are given to us that day. On one hand I want us to be really busy to make the shift move quick and generate more tips to divide up... but then it would be nice if it was slow and just relaxing and calm and we could just hang out and have fun. But if I have to be there I'd rather leave with some cashola in my pocket. It's going to be funny watching people leave tips now knowing that we get to have it immediately. We'll probably all seem much more money hungry haha. I really shouldn't be sitting here doing this (I feel like I always say that when I write in this thing), but right now I reeeeeally shouldn't. I had just talked to Annemarie about trying to keep this up now so I felt a pull towards posting one. Kristy and her boyfriend Greg are here helping my mom prepare stuff. I'm supposed to be cleaning and doing laundry. I should probably get a decent nights sleep today. I took a 3 hour nap when I got home from work. My whole schedule is a little off because of staying up late for school related things and getting up early for work or class. Ahh. I haven't talked to Kevin allllll day!! :( He had work and then I just got like a couple of texts from him asking about when to come over tomorrow and stuff but I haven't really gotten to talk to him about his day. We went last night to my dad's house so he could meet that whole gang. That was fun but we were there really late and both had to be up early. I bet he was sooo tired this morning. Probably why he's not talking to me much today! haha. I told him not to be bitter! lol jk. I'm imagining he's probably half asleep on the couch watching tv and enjoying that he only had to work a half week. I'm going to wrap this up now so I can go do some laundry which includes my work clothes for tomorrow. Everything reeks of sour milk so it needs to be washed asap. Then I'll probably sleep! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|02:31 am] |
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I debated getting a new journal thing, but then I was like oh yeah this isn't a real paper one that I tossed in a drawer and it got all wrinkly and old. So I'll keep this why not. I was sitting at my desk for ever and then realized I have class very very soon so I flewwww into bed, but then realized I'm not quite tired. I already took so many of those surveys (yeah the ones just like the ones I posted below this entry but... those were from over 2 years ago and I still fill them out! sad!) but I didn't want to do anymore so I thought of this and nothing gets me more ready for bed than this. I wish I could keep it up, but it just doesn't happen. I am so mad because my favorite black heels got chewed up by my dogs!! Not real bad, I could still wear them... but it's just annoying. They never chew shoes and then they go for my favs. What is a girl to do? I bet no one will even notice the chunk they took out of the heel, but I will and it makes me have a sad face like so :( I have to be up very shortly for my class. Film Theory & Critique for anyone reading and racking their brains out as to what my class might be. Which... will probably just be me two years from now reading back on this entry and wondering what class it was I was talking about. It's a 9am class that we immediately watch a movie in. I don't know about most people but... even with a full nights sleep, 9am is too early to be watching a full length movie. It's pretty torturous. I've just learned to dress comfortably, and come up with new positions to sit in my chair that allow me to fall asleep. The worst is when I just can't get my head propped up right and it strains my neck or doesn't let me fall asleep. I'm kind of the guru of in-class-sleeping. I have certain classes where it's my forte. The other day I fell asleep for a solid two hours next to the fountain. My intention was to read and get ahead on some homework, but once I was there listening to the fountain and the sun was warm and I was near a nice shade tree... it was all over. I guess it wasn't too solid because I kept waking up all nervous with that "where am I?" feeling, but it was nice enough. Tonight we had dinner at Vito's Steak House. Kevin was supposed to come but decided last minute he was too tired from work. I'm happy he didn't end up going because we were there foooorever and it was boring. The food was amazing though. Sooooo darn expensive though. I tried some of one of the ladies we were with, Salmon Carpaccio (sp?), and it was amazing and I'd go back for that!! But my filet minon was so good I couldn't stop mmmm'ing the entire time I was eating it. I stuffed myself so full! Alright well I took a potty break and then realized it's too ridiculously late to not at least lay with my eyes shut until I have to wake up in 4 hours :( so until next time... |
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| Extraordinary |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|03:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
Well... it's 3:30 in the am, and as usual I'm writing up a journal entry late into the night/early morning. I just thought I'd put a few of my thoughts in here because I'm not entirely tired, and tomorrow is the first day in a while that I have nothing to do followed by a second day of nothing to do!!! two days in a row!!! (with the exception of homework... which could in fact, and should, take up both of those days). But hey, at least I get to be home! I just found out that I am DHEA defficient, or progesterone, or maybe those go hand in hand. I didn't quite understand it fully... but basically I'm low on a hormone that is released when you are stressed. Odd because as stressed as I do get, I'd think without that hormone I'd have gone crazy by now. I'm taking DHEA supplements accompanied by progesterone topical cream. We'll see how the next few weeks/months go and determine how I'm feeling. Birth control was a big fat no, and after 9 months of being on it i found that out. I'm happy to have stopped, minus a few things that were a benefit of taking it. So... I'm leaving in less than week for an NYC trip with friends!!! Kevin, Sarah, Ryan, Dave & Juan will all be going. We are staying in an apartment a block or so from Times Square which is awesome. It has 2 bedrooms and the pictures didn't show much, but I think it will be decent. That's all we really want. Something clean, safe, and close to everything. I'm excited. I ordered boots for the trip, which said they'd be here by today and now I find out won't be here until Tuesday :( that makes me angry. Wayyyyy too long for a package to ship. I was eager to get them because if they don't fit I would have had time to send them back and get a pair that would... but now I definitely won't. So i'm hoping they do fit. Such an inane thing to be worried about, when there are so much bigger more important things to be worrying about... but eh that's just me. I can never stay comfortable when typing on my laptop in bed, because I usually do this late at night when I'm on the brink of tiredness and then any position for too long makes my arms hurt and my eyes tired. So... that's what has happened, and I'm going to go ahead and sleep since it's late enough to. |
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| Beep Street |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|11:45 pm] |
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I'm bored. I'm awake. I'm stressed over all I have to do. I'm not stressed at the same time. I'm wondering where my clothes for work are tomorrow. I'm wondering if it's ACTUALLY red shirt day tomorrow, because heaven forbid it's not and I wear it and one of my coworkers pees herself all over because of it. So yeah, that's where I'm at right about now. I finished that long paper I had to do, and it came out to 7 pages and that made me happy. I don't know if it was written brilliantly, but should be deserving of a B at least! I hope I hope. Counts for 45% of my grade... scary. I want this week to be over. I can live with my final exam that's a week from monday, but if only it could be a week from now I'd be happy. I find myself saying that all the time though... "if only it were..." whatever day. It's always some far away date, and I wish I could just be happy with each day and not worry so much. Blah. So i'm not feeling any better writing in this thing, I just keep thinking about how I need to be sleeping. My tea is steeping so I'm waiting for that, then I'm going to wash my face and brush my teeth and try and force myself to sleep. My mom told me something she read (whether it's true or not I don't know, but if it is it makes me that much more sad), about how healing hormones are released from 10-2 every night, but only if you are sleeping. Well I rarely ever sleep before 2, so therefore I'm never getting healing hormones. That's very sad! I'd like to go to bed at 10 every night, but the thought of going to bed early freaks me out. It makes me nervous. It has since I was a kid, and I don't really understand it either. I'd get really tense and upset if I was at a friends house and their parents send us to bed early. I only can now if I'm extremely tired. Weird... |
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| Short Circuit |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|02:36 am] |
So... today has been a really pointless day. It could have been a good opportunity for me to get many much needed things done, but instead I worked and then watched recorded television all night. It's almost 3am and I'm not tired, and I am trying to prepare myself to wake up early and start watching the 1st of 3 foreign films which I'll have to then write a 5-7 page paper on, due the very next day :( I really don't understand why today I worked at 4:45, but I woke up and spent until then just "preparing" myself for work. I'm really bad sometimes with managing my time. I mean for one, I wake up incredibly late... and then I just stress about one thing, instead of just saying okay that's going to come later, and in the meantime let me worry about this other stuff. I hate that about myself, but I don't think there's actually a term for it. I was talking to kevin tonight about procrastination, and how I'm tired of using that term to describe how I am. I realize I do procrastinate a lot of the time, but I think there is a difference between postponing something when you shouldn't, and putting something off until the last minute by choice. If that makes any sense. Like when a paper is due, no matter how long, I'll put off starting it until the day or two days before. I'll stress and whine, but I purposely did that. I can't sit down weeks in advance and begin a paper. It's just not me, and it's not what works for me. I often get decent grades on things I do only the night before... and sometimes I don't. Anyway, it just started to make me realize that maybe I shouldn't be hard on myself for being a procrastinator... and think of it more as just a choice and a way that works for me, rather than some negative trait. Because it isn't as long as I can succeed by procrastinating.
Speaking of all of this... I need to sleep so I can get up and start doing what I put off until the last day to do. I will be pushing my procrastination to it's limit if I wake up late... so off to bed I go. |
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| wowweeewhoawhoa |
[Nov. 27th, 2007|01:58 pm] |
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I don't know why, but when I ran out of every possible thing to do to keep myself from doing something productive, I remembered this journal thing and decided I was in a hyper enough mood to type up some thoughts! weeee!! This always tires me out so I'll give it a go. So yeah I was thinking today about how so many customers at work (Starbucks for those of you who have forgotten). Haha I like how I say that as if there are millions of readers out there who have been awaiting my next entry. Anyway... at work there's customers who come in and are constantly getting free drinks. Some of us have our favorites who we give free drinks to for certain reasons, and some people get free drinks because they did something for us. But for the most part, they don't really deserve free drinks allllll the time, but they get them. When I first started, this one guy came in and one of my coworkers was like, "Nina, listen to me... alllllways give him his drinks for free when he is here." and she said it in front of him. So yeah he's an okay guy, but nothing special... I don't really know what began with the two of them to cause her to always want to give him free drinks, but I pretty much always give him his drinks for free when he comes in too, because I have since I started. Then today he came in and I was busy making like 4 other drinks, and I knew what he always gets so I just made it and set it on the counter and signaled for him to come get his drink. His ended up being ready before the other 4 I was making just because his was a cold drink and I was still waiting on the others milk to steam. He seemed more bothered by the fact I had his drinks ready and waiting for him, and just walked away without saying anything. It then occurred to me... why am I doing this for him? and what kind of idea is it giving him? It's not like I'm his friend or I know anyyyything about him. In fact, on my list of regular customers, he's near the bottom of ones I like a lot... and I don't give my favorite regulars free drinks all of the time!! So to make a long story longer... there are awesome customers that come in allll the time, and I always charge them for their drinks. Rightly so, I know. But! I thought of the parallel between this, and things in life. You look at some people who are rich and/or famous... and wonder how in the world did they catch that break? They aren't thaaat special, they are just a person who got lucky. I realize there are people deserving of being recognized, and then showered with attention for their talent or whatever it is they got popular for... but there are a ton of people out there who just knew the right person, or caught a lucky break just at the right time. Some customers walk in every single day and pay for their drink; others come in just as many times but get theirs for free! And they are no better than some of those paying customers, they just got lucky by one day saying the right thing to one of the people working... or came in at a good time when someone was nice and decided to give them their drink for free and then kept up that pattern. So it just bugs me that I'm not doing this for all the people I like a lot, but yet doing it for one person I don't care for all of the time. So there are my thoughts on that haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|04:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
I'm actually quite tired, and I don't know why I'm deciding to write in this aside from the fact that a very small part of me doesn't really want to sleep yet. I never write in here, and I saw that the last time I did was August 1st? I thought I had written more recently than that. Hmm... anyway! I'm graduated from VCC with my A.A. degree, and am half way through my first semester at UCF! yayyy!! I don't know why I talk about stuff like that when, for one no one reads this... and two, if by chance anyone did, then this would be information they already know... and three, it's not even something I'll forget so... anyway I don't care. The joy of this is it doesn't have to make sense. So I am now waiting to hear from ucf about whether or not I got into the film program. I have thought about this literally EVERY single day... and not just since I sent in my application, but way before that when I first heard you had to apply to get into the film program because of it's limited access. Anyone I've talked to about it says how hard it is to get into, and I can see the doubt in every person's eyes about my getting in. They say over 300 people apply every year, and only 25-30 get in. I have no idea why I even feel like I have a chance, but I just do. I think maybe it's because I know my desire is so strong to be in it. I have a long way to go before I have the skills, but that's where I'm hoping the program will help me. It's been absolute torture waiting to hear from them, but really not as bad until this last week. I knew in December when I sent in my application that it wouldn't be until "early march" that I'd hear from them, but since March 1st I've been checking the mail and going over everything in my mind about why I may have gotten in, or why I may not have. I keep thinking about what I submitted, and the pros and cons and... I really don't know why I'm worrying, when that does absolutely nothing to change the outcome. Ugh. I just want in so badly. I've kept saying I'm fine with not getting in, and prepared for it and expecting it... but as it gets closer, and thinking about how much thought I've put into it all... not getting in and having to apply to it again in December, then again wait another 3 months and going through all of this over again! alllllll I want to do is be in and get things started. I want to learn, and have all my classes be devoted to this degree. I like the classes I'm in now, but they are for a Cinema Studies major which is fine, but not what I truly want. I want to be a Film major, BFA!! plain and simple. So we'll see I suppose. And as I have been doing for the last few mornings, I will wake up and run to the mail box. I'm nervous thinking about it. Okay, this whole entry was about one thing but it made me really tired! heavy eyes yay! |
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| I consult my soul, and it tells me when it knows... there's no doubt that one day I'm gonna fly! |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|05:22 am] |
so I pretty much never write in this. I keep burping and it's really starting to bother me! I think I have a strange gas problem. I can't really sleep and it's so late that it's early, and that's when you know you have a problem. I was reading abraham lincoln quotes because Sarah A. commented on liking the one in my facebook profile and I was reading other stuff he said. He's a very wise man it seems... I'd like to read his biography. I like biographies a lot, but I rarely ever read any. I wish I could devote more time to learning about people, but I've got to start doing something with myself that people can read about later. I'm so bummed that this summer is almost over and I didn't even touch on the things I wanted to get accomplished. Last week I went to the gym every day straight for a week, and it felt awesome... but I gave that up after one day of not being able to go and then getting my period and not wanting to go. I hate periods, they screw up everything. Something I did accomplish this summer was my College Algebra class! I passed it with one try, and getting it over in such a short time feels amazing. I would feel more proud of myself if I could have pulled off at least a B. I don't really like the feeling that I just barely made it. Although, that may not be true... my teacher said I got a C in the course, but didn't tell me my percentage. I really don't get why teachers don't just tell you everything, you have to play this little emailing game. But it's okay, I'm really great at it :P So maybe I'll inquire about that later. So yeah, pretty happy that I have 2 math classes down and only 1 more to go. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that mixing a math class with an intensive spanish course isn't going to kill me. I would so love to just take one easy/fun elective along with my math and have the semester be a breeze and spend more time focusing on something that will help me get into the film program... but I started thinking about that and well... I've had an entire summer to do something about that and haven't :( I'm betting the same thing will happen during the fall, so why not get language over and done with. I have an extremely nice camera that has only been a reminder to me everyday that not only am I spoiled, but I'm extremely lazy. There are people who would probably make great photographers but can't because they can't afford nice cameras, and here I have one handed over to me and I really have done nothing with it. It's my fault, and yes I can partially blame it on being focused on getting through my summer classes -- and I was able to do that! but now those are over with, so if I don't get my act together and start taking some pictures I can be proud of and making use of that beautiful piece of equipment, then I am a horrible person. I also don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't visualize my short film I want to get working on. I have a willing actress, and pretty much everything all planned out in my head... so I'd love to get this project in motion. It's like writing a paper for a class... the most miserable and toughest part is getting started. Once you begin something you kind of get into a flow, and then it's over and you can feel proud. I really think what I have in my head, could turn out to be something I would really be happy with. We'll see.
I feel like I can't breath. I hate when you get into those moments where you just can't take a really nice deep breath. I usually relate it to anxiety, but I don't know what I would be feeling anxious over. I'm just hoping to get tired soon. Sarah A. was over tonight for a little bit. We had plans for the last few days that we'd do something tonight but we didn't know what we'd do or who we'd do it with. Well, much to her dismay it turned out to be a late evening with me and my family lol. We watched clips of so you think you can dance that we've already seen, and then clips of america's got talent. Then we went swimming, and my cousins and I were playing silent Marco Polo and I think it was around that time Sarah wanted to kill herself and decided to leave. haha. Lately I've been hanging out with her a lot more often, and it's been fun. I have like an on and off friendship with her it seems, but when it's on it's really great because we have a lot of fun together and laugh and she always seems genuinely interested in what's going on with me and especially Kevin. It's really nice to have someone interested in your boyfriend! She wants to meet him and brings it up all the time, and Kevin jokes that the one friend that wants to be around him is the one he is always too busy to meet. I was planning on having Sarah C. and Annemarie over tonight as well, but Sarah was tired after her class tonight and Annemarie left a message that I got later, saying she should probably just go home and study. Kevin was busy studying tonight too... it's just one of those stressful weeks for everyone. I'm hoping now that summer school is done with I'll be able to do some fun things with all of my friends in the weeks before fall classes. Soooo, I'd say more but luckily I'm feeling a tinge of tiredness. I don't know what will be going on with my day tomorrow, but I do know I miss kevin and haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with just him :(. ooh which reminds me, I had the opportunity to spend lots of time with his family this past week and that was really awesome! He's always here and I'm never around his family, so it was nice to get to see a lot of them. It really was enjoyable, so I'm happy about that :D randomly mentioned I know, but this is my "journal" and no one reads it so who cares. okay bed time! and who knows when my next entry will be. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|03:02 am] |
1. What does your MySpace headline mean?
it means hello, and =) is a sideways smiley! it's meant to be a friendly greeting to the viewers of my page! lol
2. Elaborate on your default photo:
oh, right now it's a black and white photo of me and annemarie. Not that anyone can tell obviously, but we were in Alberton's and sarah took it with my camera.
3. What's your middle name start with?
L for Laurinn baby
4. What is your current relationship status?
in a serious relationship with mah man kevinnnn :D
5. What are you wearing right now?
pj's
6. What is your current problem?
that my legs hurt real real real bad, and I let out a little whimper every time I get up to move :'(
7. Who do you love most?
kevin!!!! and then I love most my friends and family in the non-in-love way :)
8.What makes you most happy?
kevin, kevin, kevin... and other happy life things :)
9. Are you musically inclined?
I have a good ear for music... but it hasn't really done anything for me. I can carry a tune, which would be cool if I had an awesome singing voice.
10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
uh maybe things here and there, but mostly I do think things happen for a reason... and you never know where you could be now if things were changed... things could be real bad. So I just like to appreciate where I am now.
11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day what would you be?
a bird so I could fly all over and see everyone and poop on people's heads that I don't like! I'd wanna be a really tiny bird so I could be discreet!
12. Ever have a near death experience?
maybe! you never really know for sure... but no, nothing serious.
13. what are you thinking about right now?
I was still thinking about being a bird... because I'm really afraid of heights and I'd probably be like the bird that was too afraid to fly... so I'd end up walking everywhere and seeing even less than I see now and wasting my day as an animal :-\
14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
i really have no song in my head at this very moment... but yesterday alllll I was thinking and singing to myself was the "Crazy" Gnarls Barkley song... i'm addicted to that song.
15. Who was this cut and pasted from?
my cousin Shannah :) who I copy a lot of these from... without her, I'd be bored a little more often.
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
I'll say Kevin, even though it's not the same exact but like so close it should be. He's Sept. 4, 1985 and I'm the 5th... and I think he was born at night and I was born in the morning... so like technically we were born within the same 24 hour period... so there!
17. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
not that I can recall. I really hope I never have, because that's bad!
18. Have you ever been in a fight?
no serious physical fights for me tyvm
19. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
no never! I wish I had the guts and talent for that!
20. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
physically I notice the smile... I think a lot can be said about the way a person smiles, especially the first smile they give you. And then comes whether or not they have a personality and most importantly a sense of humor. But actually these are things I notice and like about all people.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
nothin'! cause I'm never at starbucks. If I ever am though, it's for like a Icy Mocha type thing.
22. Do you have a crush on anybody from your Top 8?
only those that have a crush on me too
23. Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
I could only wish :(
24. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a celebrity?
one year, there were like at least 10 different people that would actually stop me just to say I looked so much like Britney Spears. Yeah... I know... what drugs were they on? My hair was like short and wavy and highlighted and I didn't look like her and never have... but for some reason so many people thought I did at that time! Funny thing is... I dyed my hair all blonde shortly after (no, not to try to look anything like her! just cause I wanted to try it) and never again was I told I looked like her lol.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
umm maybe movies considered kiddish? but usually things aimed for an adult audience too.
26. Did you have braces?
nope
27. Are you comfortable with your height?
haha I don't think there's any reason to be uncomfortable about your height! unless you are a giant or a little person. But yes, I am happy with my height. I think everyone wishes they were a little taller for some reason. I always wanted to be 5'9 but I'm over that; 5'7 is awesome.
29. Do you speak any other languages?
I only ever took Latin in highschool and don't know a word of it (we played UNO everyday! lol)... but I can speak "op-talk" and jibberish! lol...
30. Whats your favorite smell?
my favorite is my perfume I always wear, and thanks to Kevin it will be a long time before I run out! :) and I like the smell of kevin a lot, and I don't mean any kind of cologne (he rarely wears that)... but he has a nice natural smell :) yes. I sniff him often. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|03:10 am] |
Your Autobiography
Part 1: The Birth of You
Were you a planned baby?:
-- no I was not! but I was definitely a wanted baby :)
Were you the first?:
-- nope, my mom's second and my dad's 5th
Who was present at your birth?:
-- my mom and dad. I don't know if anyone was in the waiting room. It was the first of my dad's kids that he was actually in the room during the birth. He cut my umbilical cord and still says it's one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen! (gross I know... lol).
Were your parents married when you were born?:
--no they were not, and they never did get married either. it's a good thing :)
What is your birthdate?:
-- 9/5/85... has a nice ring to it doesn't it? :P
Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?:
--well my current family is like me, my mom, my uncle, and my grandma... and we are a crazy bunch, let me tell you.
Are you parents married or divorced?
--my dad remarried his first and only wife... it's complicated.
Siblings or an only child?:
--only child... I don't really get into the whole half nonsense... but if you wanna, then I have 2 half brothers, 1 half sister, 2 deceased half brothers, and 1 adopted half nephew so he's like my half brother I guess. whew.
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?:
-- I'm all of the above... but youngest born of both my parents individually.
Which parent do you get along with best?:
-- well my dad, but only because I'm rarely around him. I'd say if I were around them equally, I'd get along with them both equally... and bicker with them equally as well too lol.
What do you fight about?:
-- my parents and I? well... It seems like lately, arguing is a daily activity between my mom and I. It's just over stuff like her being frustrated with all the work she has and wanting help around here, and me always defending myself against her attacks haha. It's like a battlefield! but all out of love. I never fight or argue with my dad.
Do you have step parents?:
-- I've never thought of it that way... but my dad is remarried so I suppose that's considered a step-mom.
Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?
-- I have 2 best girl friends :)
What do you like to do most when you are together?
-- sarah: play cards and gossip!
annemarie: ladies night's! and going out to dinner and movies.
and I like to laugh with all three, because laughing is my favorite!
Do you share the same interests?:
-- I would say I share the most interests with Sarah because we are card playing fools and we love to do nothing because that excites us so much, and we are really lazy and sleep a lot.
Which friend can you tell anything to?:
-- I could tell anything to either of them, but I'd get the stares from annemarie! haha
Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?:
-- it's where it should be
Do you get depressed about things easily?:
-- when I should I suppose. pms'ing or actually having a reason to feel down about something.
Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?:
-- I'm in between... I like to be alone or in small groups of people, but not because I'm not outgoing... I'm just not into huge wild crazy crowds of people as much.
Are you happy?:
-- i'm almost always on the up and up
Do you live life to the fullest?:
-- no :-\ I wish I did more. I'm lazy. I get about half full and then I rest lol.
Part 5: Appearance
Are you comfortable with the way you look?
-- not now! I'm probably the least happy with the way I look now more than ever... but it's also because of how I feel. I want to feel healthier and exercise often.
Describe your hair?
-- haha oh my hair! it's wild and crazy, but it satisfies me.
How do you dress?
-- however... I don't care much to be stylish so it's whatever I feel in the mood to wear.
Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?:
-- I was OFF THE WALL! I was into everything and asked like 800 questions. I loved questions and I loved long answers, and I loved people and I was crazy.
What did you used to love that you no longer do?:
-- have sleepovers and act out things and have my mom film them. I also had some awesome halloween parties for a few years. I miss being able to have a bunch of friends over and just be kids :(
Do you have the same friends?:
-- Annemarie since 5th grade!! but I'm not still good friends with anyone I was from any grade younger than that.
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?
-- nothing that caused any long term damage that I know of... yet. lol
Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?:
-- to make movies!! I want to make movies that go down in history.
Are you scared of growing old?:
-- I'm not scared of the getting old and eventually dying part... it's really just the aging process and losing the ability to live the same way I do now :( I don't like the thought of suffering or falling apart.
Do you want to get married?:
-- fo sho
Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?:
-- I like either... as long as I'm wearing the appropriate clothes, I can have fun indoors or out. I just hate really really hotttttt deathly hot weather when I'm outside and can't swim or something.
Favorite Season:
-- I really do like them all... by the time I get bored with one, the next season comes.
Favorite weather?
-- warm with a nice breeze, or chilly but not freezing.
Do you like walking in the rain?:
-- i love being in the rain!!!
Part 9: Food
Are you a vegetarian?:
-- no way jose'
What is your favorite food?:
-- all food
What food makes you want to gag?:
-- practically nothing
What is your favorite dessert?
-- mmmmm desserts!! can't just pick one!
What is your favorite restaurant?:
-- the good service good food good priced ones!
Are you a fussy eater?
-- i'm the very very opposite.
Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?:
--taken
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?
-- kevin :)
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?:
-- when you know for sure you feel it back and it's perfect, and I'm lucky enough to know that feeling =)
Do you believe in love at first sight?:
-- no, that's for cheeseballs
Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?
-- I have lots of cool experiences... it's not fair to pick just one.
What was one of your worst?
-- probably when my mom came out of the dr's office to announce she had breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy. scary scary scary.
Have you ever done drugs?
-- never once
Have you ever thought you were going to die?:
-- no, but I was in lots of pain when I had to have my appendix removed... that felt like I was dying even though I knew I wasn't. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|03:10 am] |
Take this quiz and find out how girly you are. (GUYS TOO) Put x's beside each thing that's true. Each x that you put is one percent. Have fun!!
[x] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] during the summer the only shoes i wear are flip flops
[ ] my favorite toys as a child were barbies
[ ] my favorite color is pink or purple
[x] I did Gymnastics
[x] I love skirts
[ ] hollister is one of my favorite places to shop
[ ] tight jeans are the only jeans i'll wear
[x] I love chocolate
[x] I've never had a real job
TOTAL: 6
[ ] my hair is almost always straightened
[x] I have at least 8 myspace pictures
[ ] I usually go shopping once a week
[ ] I love to hang out at the mall with friends
[ ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earings
[x] I've gone to a tanning salon
[ ] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim
[x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[ ]I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach
[ ] I change my icon weekly
[x] I wear a shower cap // not always!! just sometimes lol
TOTAL: 4
[x] I dont shop at Hot Topic
[x] my cell phone might as well become a part of me
[ ] I wear mascara everyday
[ ] I've been on a diet
[x] bathing suits are adorable //adorable? not really, but I love them!
[ ] I dont know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[ ] big sunglasses are hott
[x] I have gotten my nails done
[ ] I own over 10 purses
[ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels
TOTAL: 4
[ ] all I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[ ] I love to have other girls do my hair.
[x] I give and recieve hugs from all my friends
[ ] I hate bugs amost all of them
[x] carnivals are so fun! SOMETIMES!
[x] Summer is THE best season
[x] my swimsuit has 2 pieces
[ ] Im waiting for my knight in shining armor
[ ] musicians are so hot
[ ] you write me a poem and tell me im beautiful and im all yours
TOTAL: 4
[ ] I am self-conscious
[ ] I cry often
[x] my car smells like vanilla or cherry // haha my friends would say it smells like mold though! but I put vanilla things in it to get rid of that smell lol.
[x] my dishes get washed more then once a week // not by me most the time lol
[x] I dont do sports // i wish i did :(
[x] I HATE to run
[x] I squeal when i am surprised or angry
[x] I eat dried fruit as a snack // not often but i like them as snacks
[ ] I love romance novels
[x] Drew Barrymore is so cute // she's awesome!
TOTAL: 7
[x] I dance a lot // around my house! not in public!
[ ] I usually spend an hour or over to get ready to leave my house
[ ] I only have like 5 billion hair products
[x] I love to get dressed up.
[ ] every part of my outfit needs to match
[ ] I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends
[ ] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself // BUT I WANNA TAKE PHOTO'S OF OTHERS SO HIT ME UP!!!
[x] I apply lip stuff 50 times a day
[ ] I wish I were a model
TOTAL: 3
[ ] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton
[ ] I have been something that was semi whaaat??
[ ] I own Uggs
[ ] Hip Hop is the best music
[ ] I pop my collar
[ ] I like to be the center of attention
[ ] guys with Mohawks are crazy
[ ] horses are beautiful
[ ] I'd rather not pay attention in school
[x] Cats are adorable
TOTAL: 1
[ ] I write my own music
[x] I would love to visit Hawaii
[ ] Valentine's day is so cute! // my boyfriend is! but the day in general is not particularly cute lol
[ ] white is better then black
[ ] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[x] my closet is stock full of clothes
[x] I hate the grunge look
[x] I love to read magazines
TOTAL: 4
[x] I love to gossip
[x] I had Lisa Frank folders/posters/notebooks as a kid
[ ] I love Celine Dion
[x] my bubble baths are 1-2hrs long // i like NEVER take them, but they would be that long!
[ ] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned
[x] My friends and I are in a group. We mostly only hang out with each other. a group of threeeee!
[x] I like little kids
[ ] Diet drinks are the best
[ ] I'm all about being vegetarian
[ ] I refuse to eat at McDonalds
TOTAL: 5
[x] I check my myspace everyday.
[x] I love life!
[ ] I have a lot of jewlery
[ ] my screen name(s) have x's in them
[ ] one of my myspace names has/had <3's in them
[ ]I would never want to be the opposite sex
[x] It's not what he/she said it's the way he/she said it // sometimes
[ ] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed
TOTAL: 3
Grand Total: 41% |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|03:10 am] |
myyy top threeee
Body: Top 3
The Rules:
- Don't change your top 3!
- Be completely honest
List your top 3 from ur top 8
1. Kevin
2. Sarah
3. Annemarie
1. Is 2 younger than you?
yep! just a few weeks short of being an entire year younger.
3. If you were to go to Disney world would you take number 3?
haha the question is... would she want me to take her!
4. If you cried, would 2 cheer you up?
I would hope so!!
5. What if you found out that 3 and your crush were going out?
haha well Kevin is more than my crush... so if I found out they were going out you would be seeing a new top three very soon after! lol
6. How long have you known 3?
since 5th grade! like ten years now! wowwwie!
7. Do you talk to 2 everyday?
pretty much! not as often as we used to :( going like a few hours used to be crazy for us!
8. Do you have pictures of 1?
of course!!
9. Which one did you last talk to?
Kevin is the only one I've talked to at all today
10. Do you have a crush on anyone on your top 3?
numba' 1 baby
11. Has 1 ever spent the night at your house?
he's spend the night quite a few times
12. When was the last time you talked to 1?
wow so many questions about number 1! I'm talking to him now! :D
13. Do you love anyone on your top 3?
I love all three! But I am innn love with my Kevin! =)
14. Are you nice to 2?
haha I hope I am! you'd have to ask her.
16. Is 1 a family member?
might as well be! except... not too much because he's mah boyfriend!
17. Do you think you will keep in touch with 3 throughout life?
I better! We are going on knowing each other over half our lives... so it's not a friendship that I'd ever want to lose.
18. Have you ever traveled with 1?
No :( I mean, we've gone to the beach and stayed there and stuff haha but that hardly counts. We had plans for certain traveling adventures but those didn't happen... but we plan to soon!
19. What is 3's favorite food?
oh gosh I think I know this! Umm I have a feeling it's like something her grandma fixes... like lasagna or something? Am I close Ami?? haha
20. How long have you known 2?
Our eyes first met while sitting out on the bleachers freshman year P.E. class! we were playing dodge ball and both pretended to be out so we wouldn't have to play haha!
21. Is 1 your girl/boy friend?
sure is!
23. Does 1 know your screen name password?
haha no and I don't know his... we have no reason not to trust each other, so it's nothing either of us need to know.
24. Does 1 know pretty much everything about you?
I don't even think there's a thought I've ever had that he doesn't know!
26. Does 2 know where you live?
yeah! and she needs to come over more often!
27. Could you depend on 1 to do anything for you?
yessss!!! (after begging and pleading of course... and maybe bribing him with food hehe jk!)
29. Does 2 have anything that belongs to you?
maybe! but probably only things that I've given to her. Actually I think she has green cheerleading shorts of mine that have paint on them haha.
30. Do you think your top 3 will ever change?
haha it's sad to have that even be a question... like as if I'll be on myspace for the rest of my life. But I would say no they will nevah evah change! |
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| cinema year by year... |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
so, I haven't written in here for a while and I'm actually not even bored... just felt like I should update. I am in the middle of doing homework, so just taking a little break. Once I'm done with my hw, I'm going to look up a good recipe and fix dinner tonight. I can't say how that will go because it's hard enough for me to make a SALAD! So an entire meal? I don't even want to know. But we'll see. I'd like to know how to fix some good meals, because I don't fix anything :( Sooooo actually a lot of new stuff has been going on... I have been going to celebration to intern, though it doesn't really feel like interning... more like a job, that i'm not even sure i'm getting paid for. A job that requires far too many hours too lol. But it's stuff I know and enjoy how to do, so if I am in fact getting paid then it's a good way to earn money... minus long hours :( I don't think I'm as job-ready as I once thought I could be. I rather enjoy just going to school and focusing on that. But for now, this experience is wroth it just to have something to say I've done and for my resume' and a reference upon applying to the UCF Film program. Makes my happy enough! My back really hurts :( I think I'm going to make this shorter than I intended to, because I want to finish up what I have left to do and get to publix before they close in an hour and a half! yikes. Okay laters. |
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| clooooooser closerrrr |
[May. 30th, 2006|04:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
look i'm writing in this! it's super late and i'm super bored, and wishhhhh i was super tired :( I'll stop saying super. I am trying to decide if I want to set my alarm to get up really early even though I know I"ll be going to bed late... so that I don't waste my day away tomorrow/later today (however you look at it); or if I want to just let myself sleep until I wake up, which is usually 2 and sometimes I still don't even get at least 8 hours of sleep because I go to bed so incredibly late. Oh well, whatever... no one cares about my decision to do that. I was just thinking of a script I want to write. I came up with the idea a little while ago and have been thinking up different directions it could go for a while. I really really really need a lot of substance and variety in my portfolio so that I stand out and can show that I'm good at a lot of things. It's funny how my interest is editing, yet my portfolio can't show that at all. Not that I really have anything to show... but even if I did, they don't ask that you include anything on film that you've worked on so... it's just funny to me. So I've got my awesome camera that I still have to learn how to use to it's full potential... and some story ideas floating around in the back of my mind that I'd love to just sit and get on paper in a way that I'm satisfied with. I'm just wondering when all of this will get done. From now until the december-january time, I have all this stuff on my mind to fill these coming months. I am thinking about my summer classes, mainly College Algebra because I have a test coming up and I'm nervous because I'm not prepared for it at all and I MUST to well during the whole summer semester because I need a C or better and It's the same nerve-wracking cycle that I was in before. I really think that once the summer is over, as far as classes go... I won't have anything to worry about! I can take an easy math, and just one more elective of my choice and I'm good to go! So I think as far as graduating plans, I'll be all set... and that's a huge relief. But then I've got the whole worry of getting accepted into the film program at UCF, and being sure I can get enrolled there and my portfolio finished and sent in and yada yada... another worrying process :( everything is just a big bunch of worries. And I know I'm a natural worrier, but I notice the people that say not to worry don't have many accomplishments... so I think it takes worrying to get stuff done. Actually... I don't even think that makes sense, but it does in my head so there. I will continue to worry.
So I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story of Sex and the City tonight... and I was disappointed because it didn't really have a lot of juicy gossip or even that much "behind the scenes" look at stuff... it was more like a mini bio of the cast's real life before the show, and then a little of stuff after... to be honest I really couldn't tell you. It bored me. But, it got me thinking back to the episodes of S&TC that I so dearly loved watching, and realized that friendship relationships like theirs in the show... and like many shows people watch, and in movies... just seem so fun and exciting, but don't seem to exist outside of that in the real world, for real people. Which I know is like a "duh" thing to say... but I haven't really personally known of anyone that has really really great girl friends. Like the ones you see in movies that are there for each other, and the way they talk to each other, and they are like fun and spontaneous and yeah they have their problems and moods but they are like sisters and each one knows the other will be there for them, and they can call on them for anything and blah blah. I guess it's just not realistic? But maybe that's just because I haven't been around those same types of people. I have my really close girl friends... my only ones! Annemarie & Sarah... but I think we are all such different people. Like I rarely ever just get a random phone call from them to just want to talk or see what's up, or to just go out and do something spur of the moment. I'm usually the initiator of that if it happens at all. And everyone keeps their lives so separate. I wouldn't if I had one lol, but I don't think I've ever really hung out with anyone Annemarie has ever befriended as a school friend or work friend, and same with Sarah... minus of course Ryan which was fortunate since I met Kevin =) but it's like those are my only two close girl friends, and then I have Kevin, and I'm either with Kevin... or kind of forming some forced gathering with Annemarie and Sarah because we decide it's been too long since we've all done something, but then even then, they don't seem to even be having that much fun, so I wonder what's the point. We used to make fun of Jason because he couldn't have the people he was friends with hang out at the same time because he didn't like to mix friends... but then it seems that that's how everyone is. And Sarah and I used to wish we dated best friends so that we could still always be together, and then our boyfriends would be friends and would want to be together, and we'd get to do fun stuff together. But that never happens! And when it does, I'm given the impression that it's like the last thing on earth she'd rather be doing and again it's one of those, "what's the point" feelings. In fact, since we started dating best friends, I think it's the least I've seen of Sarah in the entire time I've known her. There's no one to blame, it's just life and it happens... but it's just really sad. Because I have a great amazing boyfriend that I love, and two good friends that I also love and have fun with and hope they are having fun with me too when we do things... but it's like the most impossible thing to combine the two. I realize I'm only making sense to myself right about now...but these thoughts are in my head and I haven't really taken a time to stop and think about what I'm even typing lol. But it's at least making sense in my head, and no one reads this but Sarah anyway. I mostly just write this stuff for myself. Some kind of documentation of my thoughts that can be interesting to go back and read later. So yeah... bottom line is, we can't all have perfect friendships AND relationships simultaneously like they make you believe you can in tv shows and movies... where everyone is supportive of you, and actually wants to spend time with you... but then maybe I'm wrong, and stuff like that takes time because of our current situations... and somewhere later down the road when people mature and things change, then you get the picture perfect kind of stuff. Who knows. It just seems like right now, we are in this time in our lives where things should be easiest because we don't have so many responsibilities that we will one day have... so why isn't everything at it's peak now? The only friendships I see that seem to be going so amazingly is the ones where you see 800 pictures of girls in their slideshows on myspace talking about how much they love each other... but it seems like it can't be said without there being a beer cup in their hand, or unless they are barely dressed with guys surrounding them, or their in some kind of party or club setting... so then to me that's just all some big show being put on for attention, and I wouldn't want that. So what's all this that I'm saying? Just that I wish I could be the best friend to my friends, and have them want to be the best friends to me and have us enjoying ourselves and having fun whether we are in relationships or not... and everything is just fun and positive and nice.
Yeah I rambled I know... and now I'm going to get some water, and try to make myself tired. The next time I write in here I'm sure I'll read this over and wonder what in the world I was going on about. But it won't matter, because this all just mattered in this moment.
Wednesday me and the ladies are getting together! Woo! don't know what we are doing yet... but we are overdue for a beach day and I can't do it wednesday :( Annemarie could have, I don't know about sarah. So we'll have to plan for one of those soon. =) |
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| just my luck |
[May. 11th, 2006|05:19 am] |
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Ughh I have to be up soo early, and I'm going to be dead tired... but oh well. I was really tired all day and earlier, but now I'm kind of awake for some strange reason. Lets see... a little re-cap of my days... last I wrote was right after Annemarie's birthday. It was almost a week ago! crazy. Well... Needless to say, I didn't do any of the cleaning I said I would do last week. I kept putting it off, and putting it off... and that always happens, only usually I get to the very last minute of being able to put something off, and then I accomplish it. But I was just a complete lost cause this time. I basically did nothing all day Friday... that day seemed to fly by. Kevin called when he was off work, and was wanting to stop by since he was near... but I said nooo I have to clean! Well... I didn't :( My day consisted of waking up, eating, reading a magazine, laying out by the pool, exercising a tad bit, and watching tv. I cleaned very very minimally. On Saturday, my mom, uncle and grandma left for the beach, and I waited because Kevin decided he could go when he got of work... but I'd have to wait for him because my family wanted to leave earlier, and there wasn't much room for us in the car anyway. I was happier to go later. I had to wake up early for my College Algebra orientation at East campus, which was from 10-12. I came home and didn't get a lot accomplished, and then Kevin came! He brought a bunch of food from the wedding he catered, and we ate some of that... and then we left for the beach! I argued with my mom on the phone on the way there because we have a place at our timeshare which is nicer than our condo, and she managed to get a 2 bedroom for a week, which is their biggest. I love staying there... they have really nice rooms. But my mom and I had talked about it before she left, and her and my grandma were going to get the master room, and then in the other bedroom Kevin and I were going to sleep there, and my uncle would sleep out on the couch. This made sense for a few reasons... but I won't get into that. Well... after this all being worked out with my mom, I call on the way there and find out Patrick took the room. He didn't even ask, and she didn't even say otherwise. I didn't get mad about this, just upset that my mom can't say something to him about it... instead she just lets him do whatever, not really taking into consideration anyone else. She said he went right into that room, and said something about it being good because there is a door right off the side so he could go out and smoke. My mom tried to be all weird about it, not saying anything over the phone so that he wouldn't over hear her... and that just got me more upset, because I didn't understand why she was protecting his feelings when he didn't really deserve that. Saying that room was better because there's a door was ridiculous, because the living room door isn't that far from the couch... and he doesn't deserve any more ease for his bad habit. I ended up letting my mom know my feelings about this, and it came across more rude than I really felt... and so as a result my mom was really mad at me and calling ME selfish among other things. I was finally just over it all, because the truth of the matter is it's wassssn't a big deal to have to sleep in the living room... but I get upset over the principle of things. He's 1 person, he wakes up super early, he's a guy... bottom line, he could have just been courteous and at least offered to sleep on the couch and made things a little easier to Kevin and I who weren't even getting there until late into the night. So if anyone was to be called selfish, it should be him... but oh well, that's just how he is sometimes. So that didn't really start off our trip too well, but once we were there we were just so tired and ready to lay down and relax, that all was well. We watched that show on TLC called, "Little people, big world" or something like that... about midgets, then went to sleep. We woke up at like 12:30 and everyone was gone! I didn't even remember them leaving, so Kevin and I just laid in bed for too long before deciding we couldn't be lazy and we had to go lay out! WE FINALLY LAID OUT ON THE BEACH TOGETHER!! WOOO!!! We've never been on the beach... which is so weird to me. So we accomplished that goal, only... we were out there for about an hour, before deciding to go meet up with my mom and rest of the family at our condo for some food my mom bought and to hang out with them. We had good times! I won't elaborate, because I've already done that enough and I'm getting super tired... so umm... yeah we left Daytona late sunday night, came back here... Kevin spent the night here and had to leave kinda early Monday morning because I had class starting at 3, so had to leave here around 2:15. I was so nervous about getting there in time, and finding the building and a good parking spot and all that. Turns out, it's reeeeeally easy and fast to get there! There are a lot of stop lights, but I can't take I-4, so all things considered it's not too bad. Less than 15 minutes! And the campus isn't as bad as I remembered. I was there on a rainy dreery day last time, and now it seems a lot prettier and spread out than I remembered. Anyway... my class is History of Motion Pictures and it's really cool! The homework is kind of demanding because it's time consuming, but it's all really interesting stuff! Our book is HUUUUGE and so heavy :( but an awesome book about movies that I'll probably be keeping instead of selling back. So Tuesday my family came to our house and we made pizzas and cookies and ate wayyyyy too much and had an "American Idol" party because we are all obsessed. We went swimming, and hot tubbing too... and that was really fun. Kevin joined in on this fun event too! It was fun stuff. Everyone left, and Kevin and I were tired and laid down for a little while before he left. I had school today, and then Kevin came back yettttt again to hang out and watch lost! I must say, tonight was such a good episode! I also watched American Idol result show, and Chris left :( :( He was SO good! He looked shocked that he was cut. It soooooo should have been Taylor. Like, yeah Taylor is fun and corky, but the bottom line is, vocally he should be cut before the others... and it's a singing competition! It's just disappointing to know people are keeping him on because they like his personality. These people aren't going to be buying his record if he wins, so they should just vote for the person that they would actually want to hear songs come from. Chris was so awesome :( I would have been happy if he won! So anyway... oh well, I like them all so anyone would have been sad either way. So that was my evening. It's LAAAAAAATE and I won't be on my computer for the next several days because I'll be in Daytona whooping it up with my family! We'll be there until at least Sunday, and maybe staying until Monday morning. We leave in a few hours... and we actually HAVE to leave early because they are expecting us and have plans all set up for the day... so we can't be rude and show up late. We'll see how that goes though, you never know with my mom. I'm so tired now, sooooo that's it! oh and if you are reading this Sarah (and annemarie, but I don't think you read this)... talk to me ladies!! I haven't heard from you guys since my measily text on Sunday. I miss my fwwweeeeendddssss. We have to make plans soon. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2006|03:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
I want to make this short, because I'm pretty tired but not enough to lay down and sleep right away. Also, because it's late and I have to get up kinda early and spend the entire day cleaning! I really don't know what it is with me, but I usually like to just wait until I'm dead tired and can't take it anymore before I attempt sleeping. I hate that feeling of just laying there trying and trying to, but just thinking of a million things. Sometimes it's nice, but why not just be up! haha. Sooo... I don't remember what I wrote last time. Which really doesn't matter, except I don't want to waste time repeating myself. I'm pretty sure it was pre-Annemarie's Birthday bash which... was fun, but probably not the excitement we had all anticipated. I've come to realize, that having set plans for things, never turns out to be as fun as when you just do something last minute and/or unexpected. I also seem to have more fun when I look like a hobo, because I tried to get all schfancy for our big evening... and was in one of those "I don't really feel like wearing clothes" moods. I only like being in those moods when I know I can sit at home in pajama's all day, or wear something extremely loose and slummy. I guess I could have in this case, but we had plans to be fancy and take pictures and stuff. So yeah, I did quite a few outfit changes before deciding on some random ridiculous outfit... that I only really settled on because I was so over pulling anything more out of my closet. I was also mad because my last pair of regular contacts were being fussy and not going in my eye, and I think one of them had a tear in it... so I had to wear colored ones, and blue ones were already in a contact case... so my eyes had to be blue all night :( Sucked because of pictures. I should have just worn glasses, and then taken them off. Speaking of pictures... I took like 8 million using my new sexy camera, but most of them were just random ones of Sarah and Annemarie, but there's a few of us together! I kind of lost my wanting to be in pictures desire when my eyes couldn't be my real color, and my attire wasn't satisfying me. I thought the ladies would be more excited over checking out the camera and wanting to play with it, but they could have cared lesssssssssssss haha. I know there was some fear of any pictures taken of them being too clear and scary looking online, but I thought they'd at least be interested. They both want to take photography classes, and get new digital camera's soon or eventually... and I'd definitely recommend this one to them, because it's cool so far! But yeah, they saw it in my hands when they walked in and it was as if it was something I have had forever and they've seen plenty of lol. Actually, Annemarie kind of played with it later. I'm talking about it like it's a baby and I'm offended that the other kids in the playground are ignoring it lol... but I don't know. I'd be all over that if someone had some new technology!! KEVIN WAS!!!! He's like me, so he gushed over my newborn enough for everyone. Then I was getting attacked for whipping it out too often, but I mean... c'mon, it's an expensive piece of awesomeness! I'd feel weird buying it, and just leaving it sit when picture opportunities are 24/7! I really am looking forward to taking some classes and learning about what I'm REALLY supposed to do with it and all the settings haha, because right now I'm clueless and I've already managed to have some crazy thing happen where in certain pictures there's like flashing everywhere. Kind of hard to explain, but I know it ain't right! So anyway, the ladies came over and we were here for a while before leaving to go eat at P.F. Chang's! My mom had apparently called ahead to see if they would give us a free dessert for Ami's birthday, and they did! Then I got attacked when it came out because I hadn't left their sight from the time they came over, and we didn't make reservations... so they thought I magically told someone there about it being her birthday. But I didn't! I don't know how they possibly thought I could have anyway haha, but yeah so they bring out this crazy dessert which I liked! And Ami liked the ice cream part of, but Sarah wanted nothing to do with! I must say... I can't see how a lot of people would like it. It's very odd. It was coconut ice cream with coconut chunks drizzled with caramel... THEN, cooked banana's (yes you read that right), and strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries all sprinkled around it. It's just something that seems like you'd reeeeeally have to have a particular taste for that kind of thing to order. They have good chocolate cake there, that seems more birthdayish... so I really don't know why they chose to bring that out. But oh well! We had cake waiting for her at home anyway. The food was pretty good, and then we left and decided to check out movie times even though I don't think any of us wanted to see one. I'm sure Annemarie would have if we would see Silent Hill, but Sarah was highly against that... even though before she said she'd see it, but I think it was more just not wanting to see a movie at all. I didn't either, so I was happy we decided to just go back home. I called my mom ahead of time to let her know to light the candles. I had to pretend I was calling to check my voicemail and "accidently" dialed my mom... but then she wasn't getting what I was trying to say at alllllll. I didn't want to be obvious, so I said like 8 times "WE ARE GOING TO BE COMING HOME SOOOOOON" and then I would pause and all she'd say is, "okayyyyy I'll see you guys soon, drive carefully!" And I would just repeat it, and finally she's like, "is there something I'm supposed to be understanding? ....OH! should I light the candles and have her cake ready??". haha so yeah she fiiiiinally got it. I thought we'd be home REAL soon, and since I had said 5 minutes and my mom drags her feet sometime... I thought I'd take my sweet time. Sarah and Annemarie mentioned driving through downtown, and at first I was for it because it's like the good ole' days of wasting gas and wasting time but somehow it was like loaded with fun... but with no video camera, and the fact that we aren't little highschoolers anymore, I just felt that would be very little excitement. I was still going to, but then I didn't want to take too much time so I kind of just ignored their requests and drove us home. We took FOREVER to actually come back to my living room and see the cake, so the candles all melted away and the lettering that said, "HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AMI" disappeared, and all there was, was a big blue puddle of wax on the top of the cake. We waited until it dried some, and picked it all off nicely... minus the big chunks of missing icing haha. So we had cake and ice cream and chilled for a bit. Annemarie opened her presents, which I hope she liked. I got her a picture frame and a candle, and Sarah got her nailpolish, cookies, and a photo album. We decided we weren't ready to just sit and do nothing, and Annemarie had talked to her good buddy Matt from highschool who we all knew too, and he had mentioned it being okay to stop by and say hey at his dorm in Rollins. For some strange reason, Annemarie was getting all weird on us and not wanting to go even though he was cool with it. Sarah and I forced her because we just wanted out, and were desperate for anywhere to go... so we succeeded and went! Parking was sooooooooo far, and it was kind of creepy walking all through the streets... but we made it alive. His dorm was TERRIBLE! It was like being in a jail cell. It was supposed to be the room size for 3 people, but one of their roommates left so it just had him and another guy... and even two people it was incredibly tiny with zero privacy! It was just Matt though, so the 4 of us hung out for a bit talking. It was enjoyable. We got to hear him say 843983 times how he always brings girls there to hook up with them, and in the typical college student way he gave Annemarie Rum & Coke to drink lol. I don't think you can really be in a college dorm, unless you are offered some kind of alcoholic beverage in a red plastic cup. While there, we got to find out that Annemarie wasn't spending the night at my house, even though that was the plan!! and as far as I knew, she was down with that plan... but we got to OVERHEAR her telling Matt at 1am that she wasn't going to be haha. I don't think we ever really got an explanation as to why, other than she didn't have her stuff... which was purposely not brought haha. I guess she just wanted to wake up at home to get ready for work. Annemarie is not the best at explaining her reasonings for things. A quiet creepy stare is how we are supposed to interpret what she's thinking lol. So we left there after some time, and went back home... and watched a full tape from back in the day! We got more than we expected, because a lot was on the end of the tape that we had forgotten about! It was really funny! I love watching old home movies. So Annemarie left after that tape, and Sarah and I kept going! We finally couldn't take it anymore and went to sleep, only to be awoken so soon after going to sleep (well okay, like 6 hours... but we had huge plans of sleeping in as late as possible) by a louuuuud pressure washer right outside the window! I slept on the other couch, just because I figured if Sarah woke up before me she wouldn't have to like be scared to wake me up... and being out in my bright living room would keep me from wanting to sleep too late. But yeah, that pressure washer did the job of making sure we couldn't sleep at all. My uncle kept that thing on CONSTANTLY for at least 2 hours! It was driving us nuts. I don't know how we managed that, but we did. We didn't do much else other than lay around talking and finally playing Rummy right before she had to leave. I beat her baddddd, we both seemed to be getting lucky with the Ace cards! She usually can't stop playing unless she's the last to win... but my mom was demanding we all moved the cars, so it was a good time for her to just roll on out. She had her nephews play to go to [he was going to be a crow! haha]. So I called up Kevin a little after she left to find out how his hair appointment went with FRANKIE!!! She does my hair, and sarah's and my grandma's and mom's! like everyone I know! haha. Kevin really liked her! As I figured he would. And I saw his hair tonight, and I must say it was lookin' hot! So I'm happy she did a good job on mah boy =) lol. He said she was asking all kinds of questions about how we met, and talked about knowing Sarah too! It's funny we all go to her now. (sarah remind me to make you an appointment with her! I think you mentioned needing a hair cut right? haha). <-- Questions in a livejournal to your friends, that's when you know you are a huge nerd. So I helped clean the driveway with my mom and uncle, and then came back inside from the hotttttttt sun and had intentions of straightening up my part of the hizzouse, but that didn't go too well. I decided to relax from my short day of nothing and catch up with all the shows I had DVR'd. I watched both American Idol's from this week, and then Unan1mous which I was expecting to be the finale but it wasn't!! It's like the worst show on television, and I watch it every week. I guess just because it comes on right after American Idol, and I got caught up in it, so why not. So I got very little done, and ended up eating dinner and then Kevin came over! My mom fed him too, and then we laid around for hours just talking before finally watching the much anticipated LOST!!!! It was so good! So many new twists, and people killed off. I love that show! He left just after 2, which is early for him considering he won't even be scolded until later than that! I didn't want him to go, but he had a job interview tomorrow and needed to be well rested to make it on time and make a good impression. I hope he gets it! Oh! He found out he has 3 B's and a C for this semester! I was so proud! He wasn't expecting that at all. So he'll probably keep his scholarship after all! woooo!!! :D:D Wow!! It's getting so late, and this is SOOO long. My longest yet I'm sure. I just keep typing. My fingers are moving so fast and feverishly. I'm just so over tired that I'm out of my mind. I just felt like typing stuff too. I even said I'd make this short! what a joke. I have such a long boring day ahead of me, I don't even want to sleep because I have to wake up into that day :( But I must!! I am getting oh so tired. Even though I've written like a detailed description of stuff and soooooo much, I feel like I'm leaving out a bunch of stuff! I don't know why. Hmmm... well! I'm going to bed now. -.- zZzZzZz... |
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| oh my! |
[May. 3rd, 2006|04:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
I decided to write in my liiiiivejournallll because I'm so awake (when I really shouldn't be) and because I am bored because everyone I was talking to online left me :( Kevin left like 2 hours ago, and he's now home and long asleep... then I got on and talked to sarah for a bit, but she just left me because she was tired just like a normal person should be at this hour. But I have some very exciting news! I got a B in the math class that I was sooo worried about!!!!! wooo!!! I can't even believe I was so terrified of what I would get, but I didn't know my grade on my final exam... and so it made it hard to figure out what I could have possibly gotten. I wish she had sent us our final exam grade, just to know how I did :( But oh well. I'm just excited I got a B! That replaces the D I had from last semester, and it boosted my GPA. Although... having two C's kind of brought it back down. I ended up with a B in my Motion Picture 2 class, a C in my Editing/Post Production class, and a C in Earth Science which was also highly unexpected. So two B's and two C's isn't bad at all, considering this semester was sooo stressful. I'll know now never to mix film classes with a science AND a math class. It's like my brain didn't know how to function at all. But then of course this summer I'm taking History of Motion Pictures and College Algebra haha. But I hear we just watch movies in that class, and it's a class people take that aren't even interested in pursuing film so... it can't be much to worry about! So yeah, I forgot to thank Sarah for my B in math too! I was going crazy over how amazing Kevin is in math and how much he helped me (which he definitely did!!) but I haven't yet thanked Sarah for her many many many hours and devotion to my quizzes! I had a 91% quiz average, so she definitely helped my grade. So... THANK YOU SARAH!!! BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS!!!! That's just incase I forget to mention it to you in person haha. I'm scared going into College Algebra because it's a step up from Intermediate which I already suck at and had to take 3 times!! Plus it's in the summer where I'll be going at a muuch faster pace! But I have high hopes! I have to just be sure and focus a lottttt of time on doing homework and studying. Anyway... ENOUGH of about math. I've driven my friends and family crazy over my grade, and talked way too much on here about it. So I'm done with that! (for now, until I have all my College Algebra worries haha).
Okay now for my announcement... Ladies and gentleman, I would like to welcome to the world my new beautiful baby; Nikon D50!!! hahaha. I'm such a dork. But I ain't lyin'... she's beeeeeautiful. So lightweight, and user friendly. I am able to attach my mom's lenses from her old Nikon to it, and it takes amazing pictures! I don't even have the knowledge yet to know what I'm doing, so I can only imagine once I know what to do, how I can perfect my photography skills with it! I read some reviews online, and there was like nothing bad anyone said about it! One person was complaining that it is so lightweight it feels like a toy... but I find that to be a plus. I don't know what would make lugging around a heavy camera a good thing. I'm excited to learn more about it, and start taking some good quality pictures for a portfolio. I scared Sarah away already by showing her a picture I took of my uncle haha. You can see every little peach fuzz on his face! She told me I'm not getting near her with it lol... but I must!!! I'm bringing it tomorrow to Annemarie's Birthday bash! I want some good pictures of me and the ladies! I'll be able to resize them on the computer, so anyone who sees them won't be able to zoom into our pores! lol. Oh yeah, Annemarie's Birthday! It's right now! I just text messaged her. What a great way to wish her a birthday... by waking her up in the wee hours of the morning. We are going to go out to dinner tomorrow, and to a movie, then back to my house for cake and card playing! lol. We might hot tub, or just go through old home movies and laugh at ourselves. Good times! We were going to go to the beach Thursday morning, but Annemarie has to work... and I just found out that Sarah has to have her car back by 6! So we'll just sleep in late, and then I'll see them off. We'll have fun though! I still need to clean this place! It's a shame I haven't in time for them spending the night. They will have to sleep in this filth. I'm thinking about blowing up the air mattress, so they don't have to suffer on my couch. Not that my couch isn't comfy... I don't mind sleeping on it. But it's kind of better for just a nap. It gets a little annoying when you are trying to move around on it through the night. I can set my air mattress up in my room, and that way the brightness of my living room won't drive them nuts. Too bad it's not like the good ole' days where we all slept in my bed haha. My fat body would just throw them both on the floor by morning. Oh, speaking of fat body... I braved the gym yesterday and just about DIED! It's either I'm frighteningly unhealthy and out of shape and just couldn't handle the tiniest bit of exercise... or I have some kind of problem. I was briskly WALKING on the tredmill for a whopping EIGHT minutes, when I noticed my heart was racing. I checked it, and it was 172 a minute! There's this little chart thing on the tredmill that tells you stuff about your heart, and like it stopped telling you stuff at 150. Anything after that, and I guess they figure you should be dead or something lol. So yeah, should definitely go see a Dr. and figure out what kind of exercise program I should be doing. I don't want to kill myself. I weighed myself and I'm 134 :-\ not bad, but I would like to be back down to around 128. I know that sounds vain, especially since 134 isn't heavy or anything... but I think it's more about feeling better and toning up. I have been eating so bad. The stress of school wasn't helping me focus my attention on my body at all, so maybe this summer will be a good time. Who knows though. If I ever call about that interning thing, and get going with photography; I might end up busier than I'm expecting. We'll see. Wow. I'm getting SO tired. I'm going to sleep now. I have to wake up with enough time to kind of straighten up for the ladies, and shower myself. We want to head out early enough to enjoy the evening. I feel like I'm leaving chunks out of my day, but I do believe this entry is loooooong enough. =) |
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| I'm sooo full I can't breath... I'm thinking about getting some ice cream! |
[May. 1st, 2006|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
I'm going to go to the gym soon!! woooo!!! My body will go into incredible shock when it realizes it's moving. I can't take this body of mine anymore... it's all out of shape and I can't even breath when I get to the top of a flight of stairs. It's the saddest thing ever. My mom really wants to go with me, and I feel bad because I want her to go... but at the same time, I'm in the mood to go right this minute! She won't be ready to leave for hoursssss and I really want to go while I'm pumped. Otherwise I'll get really lazy. I loaded up my ipod, and I'm planning to swim after. Wooo!!! I need SOMETHING to take my mind off this crazy math that has consumed my thoughts for the last few days. Stupid Valencia saying the grades will be posted Monday, and they aren't. And they said, "Oh, they will start posting today through Friday". Yeah... that means Friday! Ugh. Whatever. So yesterday was fun! Sarah came over early, because I harassed her and said she had to be here early because my mom seemed serious about getting an early start. But of course... there is never such thing as an early start. We didn't get out of here until like 12 or so and we were soooo hungry that we ate Krystals! We bought like this GIANNNNTT box of them!! There were 24 in there. Sarah ate the most! haha, well just six. So we went to clean, and I didn't really do anything. I felt so lazy and tired, and it's so hard to clean other people's filth. So we took like 483048 breaks where me sarah and my grandma just sat playing cards. My mom was probably disgusted with us but oh well. The place wasn't too dirty. So then we left and went to Bealls, and sarah and I spent the longest time of our lives just looking at nail polishes and trying them on and acting like children. Our nails were all different colors by the time we left. We also tried on bathing suits, and sarah found a really cute one! But refused to buy it because it was a whopping 20 dollars! lol... she said if it's there if she ever goes again, she'll get it. she's a crazy child! she helped talk me into getting this one black bathing suit that i liked, but didn't fit me that great. But it was just 14 dolla's so I of course haaaaaddd to buy it. Not as if i don't already have enough bikini's (you can never have to many! especially not in florida!). But yeah, we were there forever... and then we went to steak n' shake. I felt so sick because I had to pee sooooo bad. I didn't think i was hungry either, but i ate the world. Then we all refused dessert and just my mom ordered this brownie thing, but they were out of it so somehow we all ended up getting free dessert! So we kind of stuffed ourselves, but it was good. then we went home, and my grandma left asap... she couldn't get away from us fast enough haha. sarah and i turned the hot tub on, and whooped it up in there for like an hour or so then came inside and played some rummy and she left! that was my evening. Oh yeah, there was a drunk guy in there somewhere... that situation was scary but funny too. you should read her livejournal entry about this, because it cracked me up. (you being, all the millions of adoring fans of our livejournal) aka kevin lol. Who i don't think even reads this either. So hi sarah, my one and only livejournal reader. so yeah... now i'm going to get my butt ready and leave for the gym! |
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| let your imagination run wild... that's what wonder of wonder works |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|06:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
I don't even know why I'm writing in this. I came back to my room to get dressed and go to the Mall, and now here I am. I'm going to go to the Ritz Camera store at the mall so I can check out their camera's and see if the lenses from my mom's old camera fit the new digital version of it. I talked to the guy at the store and he said, "You can upgrade, but you can't downgrade" and I was like, "huh?" but apparently you can use old lenses on new cameras as long as they are the same brand, but you can't use new lenses on old cameras. So that works perfect for my situation. I'm excited! I'm not intending to go and buy anything tonight, just check out the cameras... and talk to them about the photography classes that come with the purchase. I also just want to get out of the house, because all my mind keeps wandering back to is my Intermediate Algebra grade! It's driving me crazy. I emailed my teacher, and asked if she could let me know my grade now, and all she said was, "The grades will be posted Monday! Check back then." Which I'm taking as bad news, because why wouldn't she have just told me I passed? Put my mind at rest! :( I was really NEVER thinking I didn't pass the class with a C, until I did a degree audit and all of my other classes have grades posted, and then there's the math with a big fat D next to it, and I can't figure out if it's my old grade or new one. It's really freaking me out. I know that I would have had to have done terrible on my final to not pass with a C, but what if I DID do really terrible? Ugh. I just have to stop worrying. But my mind is racing with the possibility of having to take this class over again... and I'm already worrying about things like how I'd have to take it at another school, and it would hold be back another semester causing me to have to apply to the film program a YEAR later. I'm wondering if this is just anxiety because of the trauma I experienced last semester with thinking I would get a C, then seeing I had a D. Probably. I'm such a worrier. I need to just get my mind off of it. That's why I'm going to the Mall! Well... just that camera store, but it's in the mall. Also, there is NO food here and nothing to drink. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten all day. But I ate SO much yesterday, that my stomach hurt so bad I couldn't bend. It was quite sad. Kevin just called me, but we had to hang up because he had really bad reception out there. He said he's talk to me later... I thought at first we were hanging up so he could call me right back, but now I'm beginning to thinks he meant later later haha. He's working in Celebration. He caters weddings, and my friend Sarah Allsup was going to one today in Leu Gardens and that's where he works a lot, and he had mentioned maybe being there... but he's not :( I thought my friends would be able to collide there lol. Ugh. I just talked to my mom about going to the camera store, and she really wants to go with me to talk about some problem she used to have with her old camera. I told her we can go again another time, but she really wants to go. But she said she won't be ready for like an hour!! Which really will mean like 2 and then we will be going right before they close and possibly saying to just forget it and go another day because it's getting too late. That's how it usually works out with my mom. So I might just have to leave her and go by myself. I'd prefer her with me for this because she knows what to talk about with her camera, and bargain for a better deal... but I was more just wanting to get out of the house. Wellllll... what to do, what to do. EAT! That's what I want to do. I keep thinking about food, and then right after realizing once again how we have nothing here. I honestly can't think of anything we have here. I do have those Boca Burgers (veggie burgers), I just don't know how much in the mood for that I am. Our mayonnaise is like a month expired haha. I like it slathered in mayo and ketchup. I'll figure something out. Right now I think i'll continue getting dressed, and maybe watch tv while I harass my mom to get ready faster. |
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